Sitting here, perched atop my yellow, nubby "birth ball", I find myself at a strange crossroads between eager and nostalgic. Whereas I am more than anxious to meet this little guy that is wreaking havoc on my internal organs, I feel a twinge of melancholy that this pregnancy will soon be over.
I was contemplating this last night, as I sat "criss-cross applesauce" on my bed, gazing down at my over-inflated basketball of a stomach. A verse came to mind "I am fearfully and wonderfully made." (Psalm 139:13,14) and it is so true. It is amazing what our bodies go through - the entire cycle of pregnancy, the miracle of birth (and the bigger miracle of RECOVERY!), I can't help but be thankful that I have been blessed with such great health throughout this whole process!
I am going to attempt to go "natural" this time around - which scares the be-jeebers out of me, because of the pain I have been having so far, just in pre-labor! There is another quote that I love, which my midwife has posted in her office: "There is a secret in our culture, it's not that birth is painful, it's that women are strong" - Laura Stavoe Harm. Isn't that great? Don't get me wrong, I don't want to be a martyr or anything, but I would love to experience birth the way it is meant to be, natural, and the ultimate, beautiful gift of love a mother can give. After watching "the business of being born" (Documentary produced by Ricki Lake), I was all hopped up on the fact that I can do it...and Jeff, being "all or nothing" was ready to call a midwife and buy a pool so "we" could just have the baby at home, in our living room. Maybe next time, sweetie.
This is just the strangest feeling, waiting for something so momentous. Obviously, I didn't go in last night to have her "break my water"...oh, boy, was I tempted, though! I'm just trying to relax (yeah right) and get as much done as I can before everything happens! Which includes completing all my physics II homework (a nightmare!), baking and freezing stuff...cleaning like mad, and giving Lukie lots of love and time. Speaking of Luke, he is still sick, and currently snoozing on the couch, one arm around his puppy "bullet" (toy), all cozy underneath his new Cars blankie. He is too cute, poor baby - even when he is sick, though, he is still very loving and happy.
Well, sorry for the non-exciting post. Someone please send me some labor vibes so I don't have to go to work this weekend!!
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